Via HappyMagicFunTime.com

You probably think HTML5 is like HTML 4 because you’re an idiot dude! HTML 4 is a MARKUP language and document definition stupid, HTML5 is like an API + Markup + Rad! Also HTML5 doesn’t have a stupid space in it.

I’m just messing with you man sorry about that. So part of HTML5 is some new elements that are all like whooo! and yeah!

It’s pretty sweeet!

So anyway you get some new elements that are sooo great. Like the nav element. That one is pretty cool. Instead of just having an id=“nav” thing you can surround a ul with a nav element and that will make some sort of awesome.

Hold on! Hold on! Want to see some crazy shit… hold on! One second. Hold on.

<header>
<h1>Awesome Brand</h1>
</header>
<section id="listing">
<article>
<h1>Article title</h1>
<h2>The beginning of the end</h2>
</article>
<article>
<h1>Article title</h1>
<h2>The beginning of the end</h2>
</article>
</section>

Look at all those h1s! It’s like they took h1 and were like… GUITAR SOLO!

That’s crazy right? I mean you can use h1 because according to the HTML5 spec it’s semantically correct to do this because articles designate a new hierarchy within the hierarchy. It’s like the MATRIX but in HTML form yeah.

Then there’s like video and audio though.

Some people are all up in video’s grill though because there’s this one code, the H-2-6-9 and it’s proprietary but then there’s Ogg which isn’t proprietary but sounds like what the Vikings used to drink on pirate ships. It’s all like “I’m Ogg! I’m coming to eat your babies!” then the other one is all like I’m H-8-6-7-5-3-0-9 and I’m a robot who just wants to love. Then it turns out the audio element shows up at the end with a gun because nobody is talking about him and is all like “You’ve had the attention for too long Ogg & Robot!” and the two video codecs kill audio and learn to love each other and birth video.

So you got all these new elements and your all like “FUUUUUUUCK dude” I can’t use them in IE because it totally blows hooker hippos! But dude check this out, dude check it. You just have to use a little bit of JavaScript. You can find that here.

hahahah made you look, why do you like donkeys so much? No I’m just playin’ man. The script is here.

Yeah but… no, HTML5 isn’t just the markup language and some people forget that, not me but some people do yeah.

So HTML5 is like a whole applications suite, like the Adobe Creative Suite except when large groups of people who make browsers try to implement HTML5 it actually works. NO! I’m just playin’ man I love Adobe, I think it’s great material for building ovens that end up burning people. No ok I’ll stop. Wait one more. I love Adobe because I also confuse the word feature with excellence. NO I’m kidding I’m so sorry I’ll stop. OK, I’ll stop alright.

CSS3 isn’t HTML5 either. So your border-radius showin’ doesn’t make you the future.

So there’s a couple pieces all on display right here.

OH DUDE! Got you again! That was just the same donkey search. Why do you like donkeys so much? Seriously.

No seriously though, everything you need to know about HTML5’s elements are here. You can make some pretty mean tag soup with that brew right there.

But you know that because you’re smarter than I am man. I mean I mean you’re smarter than I am so you know that there’s an entire built-in canvas element which people are saying is totally going to add this whole new animation layer and replace Flash and I’m all like it’s not going to replace Flash so why don’t you go fight a bull instead of spew its shit or something you idiot. Flash is just another means to an end and I’m so tired of hearing it. Also I don’t understand why everyone is talking about Flash again, I mean it’s not like Flash hasn’t been around for 10 years and we all know what it can and can’t do. Does anyone expect Flash to stick around forever? I don’t. I don’t expect windows or OS X or any of that to stick around. I don’t expect me to stick around. Do you ever think about that? Not sticking around? Sometimes I do. People are all concerned about Flash because they use it to watch Glee on Hulu and I’m like come over here and I’ll sing for you but nobody laughs they just don’t laugh. Then I’m all like “argh, Laugh!” and they just don’t. But I don’t think Flash will live long no, but I don’t think it’s satan reincarnate or like Satan 2: Wrath of Satan.

Speaking of bullshit I once saw a bullfighter get totally nailed by a bull by the way. It was crazy! The bull just went straight for the fucker and he flipped in the air and I’m pretty sure you can see some guts.

Your probably all like, awesome man can I find out where people are and I’m all like Yeah! They’re adding this crazy Geolocation JavaScript API thing where you can like find out where people are.

Then you’re all like woah what about that crazy input type=‘search’ and im like WHAT ARE YOU SEARCHING FOR? YOUR DEADBEAT DAD? and your like no, donkeys.

So anyway there’s all these new form elements that do things like password do. Once again Marky Mark has it all down

Then there’s things like the placeholder attribute for form elements where you can put filler text for forms, like “Search” and it works all nice and stuff. It’s all here although I’m not sure if you can translate alien duuude.

So cookies are eventually going to go away too, but not those cookies because I was totally worried for a second when I read that. But yeah, no not those cookies, no. Browsers are going to have built in native storage which is like totally database-esque but some dudes are worried because they’re afraid it’s not secured but it’s working right now in Safari and others. It’s for like cookies and sessions and stuff or reading stuff offline like donkey sites. So that will totally replace cookies which sound AWESOME right now by the way. That’s also a part of HTML5 which is crazy and NOT just markup like the p element. Haha p.

p

p

hahaha awesome!

So anyway that’s pretty much the summary of where we’re at right now. Not everything works everywhere but ayspoi seems lise it will go and see you!

“Shine” by Final Placement from sharity world on Vimeo.

A spite house is a building constructed or modified to irritate neighbours or other parties with land stakes. Spite houses often serve as obstructions, blocking out light or access to neighboring buildings, or as flamboyant symbols of defiance. Because long-term occupation is at best a secondary consideration, spite houses frequently sport strange and impractical structures.

Spite houses are much rarer than spite fences. This is partially attributable to the fact that modern building codes often prevent the construction of houses likely to impinge on neighbours’ views or privacy.

Probably the most famous spite house was the Richardson Spite House in New York City at Lexington Avenue and 82nd Street. Built in 1882 and demolished in 1915, it was four stories tall, 104 feet long, and only five feet  wide. Joseph Richardson, the owner of the plot of the same dimensions, built it after the owner of the adjacent plot, Hyman Sarner, unsuccessfully tried to purchase the land. Sarner considered the plot useless by itself and offered only $1000; Richardson demanded $5000. After the deal fell through, Richardson had an apartment building constructed on his land. It was a functional (albeit impractical) apartment building with eight suites, each consisting of three rooms and a bath.

In 1716, Thomas Wood, a sailmaker, built a home in Marblehead, Massachusetts, which subsequently received the sobriquet of The Old Spite House. One theory has it that it was inhabited by two brothers who occupied different sections, would not speak to each other, and refused (out of spite) to sell to the other. In another explanation for the presently occupied ten-foot wide home, which is just tall enough to block the view of two other houses on Orne Street, the builder was upset about his tiny share of his father’s estate and his revenge was a house built to spite his older brothers’ views. The Old Spite House is still standing and occupied.

In 1874, two brothers in the North End of Boston, Massachusetts, got into a dispute. Each had previously inherited land from their deceased father. While the second brother was away serving in the military, the first brother built a large home, leaving the soldier only a shred of property that the first brother felt certain was too tiny to build on. When the soldier returned, he found his inheritance depleted and built a wooden house at 44 Hull St. to spite his brother by blocking the sunlight and ruining his view. The outside of the house spans 10.4 feet and tapers to 9.25 feet in the rear. The Skinny House is still standing and occupied.

At the turn of the 20th century, the city of Alameda, California, took a large portion of Charles Froling’s land to build a street. Froling had planned to build his dream house on the plot of land he received through inheritance. To spite the city and an unsympathetic neighbor, Froling built a house 10 feet wide, 54 feet long and 20 feet high on the tiny strip of land left to him. The Alameda Spite House is still standing and occupied.

In 1908, Francis O’Reilly owned an investment parcel of land in West Cambridge, Massachusetts, and approached his abutting land neighbor to sell the land for a gain. After the neighbor refused to buy the land, O’Reilly built a 308-square-foot building, measuring 37 feet long and only 8 feet wide to spite the neighbor. The O’Reilly Spite House is still standing and is occupied by an interior decorating firm as of mid-2009.

Rap Master Maurice is willing to VIGILANTE MIND BATTLE RAP CALL anybody who has done you wrong. Simply PayPal $7 and give a brief explanation of the trouble and you’re EVEN STEPHEN.

I heard of Maurice on the radio show “WireTap“, which plays on Sundays on my Michigan Public Radio Station [side note: this show is hillarious and you should listen to the podcast featuring Maurice now] and was totally blown away.

You pay the $7 through PayPal and then send an email with the persons name, the situation and their number. Maurice composes a custom rap-revenge and calls the mark and delivers the audio vengance. He even sends you an mp3 as proof.

Click here to visit his site and listen to some of the audio examples.

Haikus are easy.

But sometimes they don’t make sense.

Refrigerator.

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work